A few friends close to me have been having a hard time in their marriages.  It’s so hard for me to watch.  One of my friends just recently got divorced and I just ache for them and especially for those kids.  My parents got divorced when I was about 12, and I know first hand that it can be a really tough thing to go through for both the parents and the children.  I never want anyone to feel those pains.

As I’ve been talking to my other friend that recently started counselling, it really got me thinking about what good marriages consist of and what keeps one happy and strong.

I have a very (what I consider) normal marriage.  We have our “up’s” and “down’s” certainly, but we are both very committed to helping each other be happy, so at the end of the day-we work well together.  My cute hubby is a great man.  He tries hard every time he sees me stressed or down to make me laugh.  He makes me feel like I am the hottest girl that ever walked on this planet and really helps me be my best self.  I truly know what real love feels like being married to him.  I sincerely feel lucky every day to be married to such a great guy.

I want everyone to have this!  As I’ve been talking to my friend, here are some things I think can help every couple in the world stick together.

1) Dr. Phil asked the question, “What are you like to wake up to every day?”  I’ve reflected on this a lot.  Am I fun to be around?  Is my cup half full or half empty?  Do I just ask my hubby to help with tasks when he gets home from work, or am I just interested in his day and how he’s doing?

2) DATE NIGHT! Do it.  It’s way hard to keep up on it, but the effects of just being you and him are irreplaceable. Leave those cell phones in the car. Talk, hold hands, just enjoy each other.

3) Are you so frustrated in your marriage because you are saying, “We just don’t have anything in common anymore” or “He doesn’t do this for me, or he just can’t change this and I’m tired of it…” This makes me wonder…are we more concerned about what our spouse is doing for us than what we are doing for them?  I bet if we thought about how we could help our spouse be happier, we would both be happier in the end.  Selfishness is a major cause for divorce today.  YIKES!

4) I learned a lesson in college that has stayed with me to this day.  I had this roommate who I didn’t particularly like.  She was really hard for me because we were so different.  She would do all these things that bothered me.  I was done with it – and remember “venting” to some other friends about my difficult roommate.  It made things much worse.  My attitude towards her got much worse and it made the situation worse than it was because I was bad-mouthing her and highlighting her weaknesses. The same goes for marriage and parenting.  I try really hard to only say positive things about my spouse and kids to others.  When I do this-I feel like something changes in my mind and I have an easier time loving the people around me.  Try it.  When you feel like bagging on your husband, talk about all the things you love about him instead.  I know it works.

Don’t you love these marriage quotes I found on the Dating Diva’s fb page.  Sure think those girls have a good thing going.  We owe it to ourselves, our children, generations before us and generations to come to fight for a good marriage.  Let’s make it the best we can!